When it comes to feminine hygiene supplies, there are almost as many questions as there are products! Since your daughter will use approximately 10,000 pads, tampons and/or panty liners in her lifetime, it is worth investing some time to learn more about her options.
The Starting Line
Some girls start menstruating at age 9 while others don’t have their first period until age 15. Whether your daughter starts before most of her friends, along with them, or is one of the last to get her period, the odds are good that she will start with disposable pads (or a mix of disposable pads and panty liners). Pads are practical, easy to use, and highly effective.
Hurdles
The interest level in trying an internal product varies widely among girls who have recently started menstruating. Some of the most common reasons for growing more interested include:
– Friends’ Recommendations
– Leaking Through Pads
– Summer Outfits & Outings
– Sports & Activities
– Concerns About Odor
– Swimming/Fun Water Activities
– Wanting to be Like ___ (mom, older sister, etc.)
Coach Mom (or Dad)
If your daughter is expressing interest, make time to make sure you and she are both well educated about her options. While your daughter may be talking about this subject with friends, keep in mind that research shows an adolescent’s decision to use tampons is most influenced by her mother. As her coach, it is important you know the basics:
– Age. If your daughter is menstruating, her body is physically mature enough for tampon usage. There is no “right” age to try a first tampon. The transition is easier for girls who are already comfortable with menstruation, having managed several periods with pads.
– Fear. If your daughter is anxious, rushed, or fearful about inserting anything into her vagina, it may be best to delay tampon usage. Slow down and provide her more information, and the opportunity to explore her own anatomy privately with a hand-held mirror (apart from and prior to her first attempt to insert a tampon). Remember, if she is nervous her body will tense up, which makes insertion much more difficult. Also, keep in mind one of the most common mistakes among new users is failing to insert the tampon deep enough into the vaginal canal.
– TSS. For the sake of good hygiene and to lessen the likelihood of Toxic Shock Syndrome, make sure you explain how important it is that she use the least absorbent tampon needed for her flow and that she change her tampons often (every 4-6 hours). We recommend tampons not be used for sleeping and that daytime use be alternated with pads to allow the toxins to dissipate. Please note: girls from tweens to early twenties have an increased risk of TSS – it is important to learn the facts & symptoms.
Race Options
At some point after she decides tampons are for her, together you must choose a box (or a few boxes). Consider these factors:
– Applicator: plastic (easiest to insert), cardboard (flushable), or non-applicator (most environmentally friendly)
– Absorbency: lite, regular, super, super plus, or ultra (consider purchasing a few absorbencies for her changing flow or a box containing multiple absorbencies)
– Size: While all tampons in a given absorbency level must absorb the same amount of fluid, there is a considerable variance in size between brands and within brands between product lines
– Scent: we recommend unscented as scented products may cause irritation
– Type: traditional or organic (100% cotton product with less risk of TSS)
– Other: consider other internal products, like disposable (or even reusable) menstrual cups
Practice
The worst time to try a first tampon is the day of a big “race.” If your daughter wants to try tampons for swimming at summer camp or some other upcoming activity, plan to practice in advance. Plan ahead; allow for plenty of practice at home. Once she has is comfortable using tampons at home, she will have the confidence to use them anywhere and anytime she wants or needs.
Race Ready?
For parents and daughters, there is only one wrong approach: silence.
If your daughter has started menstruating or will be starting soon, it is important that you talk to her about her feminine hygiene options. Gauge her interest in tampons (and check in on how she feels now and again if the initial interest was minimal). Whether your daughter decides she is ready for tampons today, next year, or not at all, you will both be glad she knows all about this feminine hygiene option.
Remember to:
– Provide her with relevant, factual and actionable information
– Use supplemental resources (books, websites, her pediatrician, etc.)
– Be sure she knows tampons are one of several feminine hygiene choices (a product some girls use sparingly, others frequently, and yet others not at all)
– Keep the conversation going, and ensure she knows you are available any time she has questions
The Finish Line
Want even more information? Be Prepared. Period. and You ARE Loved will be co-hosting a one hour online event June 8th, “Summer Periods – Camp, Vacations, Swimming & More – What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know.” It is open to everyone. – Transcript now available.
Co-written by Be Prepared. Period. & You ARE Loved.
Learn how to have a Better Period!
Check out our Info on Periods & Puberty page for more helpful information OR stop by our new PeriodTalk forum to get answers to the questions you’ve been wondering about.
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Been through this with both of my girls. It’s such a great topic to be talking about, though, and one we might not talk about as much as we should. Going to share this one around!
My daughter is almost 12 and has not yet started. There is a lot to consider. I have had an allergic reaction to many products so I am worried about starting her on a lot of commercial products. We have talked about it here and there as I want her to be prepared when it happens. Your site is a great resource.
Just as we co-authored this article with Be Prepared, we are glad to be a resource as well. Would you welcome some additional information on products many tweens prefer if traditional disposables are not a good fit? I commend you for ensuring she is well prepared!
This was very helpful and informative. I am stuck on the fact that some girls start menstruating at age 9!!!! My daughter is 9 and I feel completely unprepared, so i am very thankful for reading this. Excellent.
I am glad this article was helpful. Even if your daughter does not start menstruating for a few years, it is important that you teach her more now as one or more of her good friends likely will start soon. Together with Be Prepared Period we have created many resources that may be of interest to you (all available online and all free of charge). Let us know if we can send along some links or answer any questions now or in the future.
Very informative article.
I can’t lie, I hate the topic of tampons and my teen. I guess I did well enough with prep and thus far so far when it comes to the topic of puberty as she was excited to get it and it has not been a problem. She has tried to used my tampons but it has not worked for her yet. I think I need to get her a hand held mirror as you advise. She is worried about swimming this summer! I just wish she was not growing up…. I don’t think it helps that I didn’t use them till after I started having sex so this could influence how I feel about them too!
Once a girl tries a tampon unsuccessfully she often feels it simply won’t work. If she has tried several different times and continued to fail, it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. To overcome this, several steps are often helpful. (1) Education. This can include several pieces. The self-exploration and anatomical awareness using a hand-held mirror is included in this area. (2) Practice. Before trying a tampon have her practice using one in the “air” to see how it works and what really comes out of the applicator and is left in her body. She may also benefit from inserting her finger instead of tampon to better understand where the tampon goes and how her vaginal canal slopes while sitting (or standing) in her chosen insertion position (also this practice, unlike a tampon, can occur when she isn’t menstruating). Be sure that this education and practice occurs well before the day of her big swimming event(s). The anxiety of the need to succeed immediately is an added stress that isn’t helpful. Please let us know if we (Be Prepared and You ARE Loved) can provide additional information about internal feminine hygiene products that may be best for her as a beginner. We welcome your questions.
Thank you for sharing! My stepdaughter has started menstruating and this was great for me to read for when she becomes more comfortable with the idea of tampons.
I see no mention of increased TSS risks in pre-teens and teens – the risk in younger women is significantly greater, believed to be due to lower immunity to the bacterial toxins responsible for TSS. Thus why the majority of tampon-associated TSS cases occur within younger women and often within the first few hours of inserting a tampon.
Many adult women dismiss the risk of TSS and often don’t even know the precautions to reduce TSS risks, let alone follow them – so if you are going to allow your pre-teen or teen to use tampons, over safer options like pads and cups, be sure to make sure you know precautions too so you can teach her. Also make sure you BOTH know what symptoms to watch out for as quick action saves lives.
It is wonderful to hear from those that are so well educated on TSS – you are absolutely correct! We’ve gone ahead and updated this article to include that very important point. Thank you Jay!