Are you screaming inside, “PLEASE…SOMEONE…help me with my teenager!” Do you ever get the feeling that your daughter hates you?  Or that once a month, you have no idea how to deal with her.  One minute the two of you are laughing and the next – your kindhearted jab about her clothes sends her reeling to her room in tears.

If your daughter’s mood swings can sometimes give you whiplash, you might be experiencing what is called PMS: pre-menstrual syndrome.  And if you think its bad for you – you only know the half of how bad it is for your daughter.

Truth is, that PMS is real.

Due to hormonal surges before a female gets her period, she can suffer from a calamity of symptoms.  Often times, PMS comes in the form of physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, bloatedness, sore breasts, muscle aches, and food cravings.  And even more often, PMS serves up some pretty severe emotional reactions which can range from sadness and anxiety to anger, frustration, and difficulty focusing.

So not only is your teen craving those chocolate cookies, Doritos and soda, but she also cannot fit into her jeans (which is a deadly combination to a teen) – AND her emotions are on a roller coaster.  So really, it’s nothing you said.  It’s just that her hormones are a little off balance and she doesn’t feel quite like herself.

PMS will likely occur about 7 to 14 days before your daughter starts her period and normally ends with the onset of menstruation.  During those days, you may feel like you are on a roller coaster ride with your daughter.  And while you shouldn’t be forced to ignore her if she is out of line behaviorally or walk on eggshells – it is advisable to show a little understanding.  In other words, don’t make jokes about PMSing that diminish its existence. (You’ll only make things worse)

It is a good idea for fathers to know about their daughter’s cycles – especially if your daughter tends to get a little moody before her period.  This way, you won’t take what she says and how she acts to heart, and can find it in yourself to be a little more patient.  And when she breaks out into tears for no apparent reason, you’ll know why!

It’s also a good idea to make sure that she gets plenty of rest, drinks plenty of water – stays away from caffeine and doesn’t over indulge in junk food – which can further affect the neurotransmitters in her brain.  (So while she may perceive your good willed attempts to steal the Cheeto Bag and Hershey Kisses from her hand as a direct insult, the truth is you will be doing her a favor) (Good luck with that)

On a more serious note, there is a disorder called PMDD, which stands for premenstrual dysphoric disorder.  The symptoms referenced above can be EXTREME in this case, and it may be worth your while to talk to your daughter’s pediatrician if you feel your daughter’s symptoms are excessive.

On the upside, in a few days – she will be your little girl again.  You know, the one that you raised and loved and who thinks you’re a hero.  (And she’ll fit back into those jeans) In the meantime, try as much as possible to take your signals from her and err on the side of compassion whenever possible.

Got questions? Check out our new online community, PeriodTalk for current puberty or menstrual discussions or start your own by posting a question. We’d also like to invite you to join us for our monthly, educational tweet chat on February 8, 2013 at 11am PST. The topic: Learning to Love Yourself & Your Period, more details here.