A slap in the face.

When I think about a girl’s first period, that’s what comes to mind. A slap in the face.

When I was young and had recently started menstruating, I remember having a conversation with my cousin. She asked if my mother had slapped me in the face? WHAT? Slapped me? My mother had never touched me. She went on to explain that she had been visiting with our Grandmother when she first got hers. She got slapped.

I was horrified and thankful that I wasn’t staying with my Grandmother when it happened to me. Why the slap? Different sources say it is either a way of bringing blood to the face to celebrate fertility… or it’s to shame the girl. Either way, a slap is a slap and is not a great way to start off this period (no pun intended) in your life. It’s one of those Jewish traditions that have been passed down through the generations and nobody really has a clue where it originated or why.

Other countries and religions have traditions as well. In some countries menstruation is celebrated by building the woman a home, making an animal sacrifice, preparing a festive meal or hiding the woman away until she is “clean” again. For the most part, however, we as a society don’t really put a lot of meaning into this big event. Regardless of the fact that every single woman on the planet menstruates, it is still mainly thought of as a taboo subject, something to keep hidden. I was determined to provide my own daughters with a different perspective.

Years ago I read a book that forever changed the way I felt about women. “The Red Tent” by Anita Diamont is the story of some of the women of the Bible. The red tent was the place they congregated during their menstrual cycles and to give birth – the one place where the women were completely in charge and drew on their friendships and family to support each other through the cycles of their lives. Women supporting each other… what a concept!

My oldest daughter recently had her first period. I didn’t slap her, but I did give her a big hug and told her I loved her and was proud of her. I did take her to lunch and we talked about all the wonderful things in her life she had to look forward to. My best friend (who is like a second mother to her) presented her with a huge chocolate bar, the traditional for girls in her family. We celebrated the fact that she now moved on to the next phase of her life. As women, we gathered around her. While we don’t have a red tent, we do have a community of women: friends and family to help her through all her firsts. As it should be.

Puberty is hard. So many changes taking place at once. I look forward to the day when a young girl can be proud of her body, of the changes going on inside and out, of her first period.  As a mother, I harbor the responsibility of changing my own daughters’ perspective. If I show them it’s not shameful or secret or something to keep to themselves, then maybe they will pass that on to their daughters. And maybe my granddaughters will pass it down to their children.

Carolyn is the Mom of three daughters, two of them tweens, which is why she is a coffee and social media addict. She blogs at This Talk Ain’t Cheap and is a true Lifestyle Blogger. She writes about everything from recipes and reviews to family and social issues.

You ARE Loved and Be Prepared Period thank Carolyn for writing this guest post. She will be one of our parent panelists on March 9 for a very special tweet chat: Puberty & Periods – Guiding Tween & Teen Girls. More information available here.