I was 13 when I got my period and although it was 33 years ago, what I remember most about that day is how lonely I felt. Menstruation wasn’t something discussed among friends, much less at home. I was prepared in the literal sense. I had a box of pads under my bathroom sink and I knew I would bleed and what to do about it. Still, I wasn’t prepared emotionally. Facts weren’t very helpful when I felt like nobody understood and nobody wanted to talk about it.

When I found myself the mother of not one, but three daughters, I knew it would be up to me to make sure they were not only physically prepared for whatever life threw at them, but emotionally prepared as well.  From the time they were born, I made it a point to talk to my girls. We talk about everything… from school to friends to puberty and even those darn boys. I always knew that talking and being open and honest with them was going to be the answer to raising smart, secure and self-confident children. I never wanted my kids to feel they couldn’t come to me and ask questions, or talk, or tell me how they were feeling.

My oldest daughter began menstruating 3 days before she turned 12. It was like any other day in our house except for those 6 little words, “I think I got my period.” That’s it! No drama, no tears, no panic. I asked her if she had what she needed. She said she did. I asked her if she had any questions. She said no.

I heaved a big sigh. My daughter was a woman, but more than that… I knew I had prepared her well. She wasn’t scared or surprised. She knew it was coming and knew what to expect when it did.

Going on 6 months now, we have been fortunate. Her periods have been pretty regular, lasting 3 – 4 days and haven’t been too heavy. More importantly, she is dealing well with it. I don’t know how much is that fact that she’s a great, levelheaded kid… or the fact that I made sure she had all the information she needed. Maybe both. What I do know is that too many of her 12-year-old friends are NOT prepared. How do I know? It’s the questions my daughter got when she first told her friends.

“What does it feel like?”

“Does it hurt?”

“What did you do?”

And then the giggling. The nervous laughter from little girls who fear being next. Or fear that they won’t be next. Sometimes I want to shake their mothers and make them sit down and talk to their daughters. Sometimes I want to sit those girls down myself and ask them how much they know. It’s not my place, but I do wonder why parents aren’t preparing their children. Denial? Fear?

I’m so proud of my daughter and how she is handling it all. I am proud of myself as well for doing something right and preparing my kids for life. There are so many other things I do wrong as a parent but it doesn’t take much time to have a conversation.

My 9 year old is already asking when she will get hers. She asks out of anticipation, not fear. She is excited to follow in her sister’s footsteps. She wants to be grown up. After her, I have my 7 year old. She will be the last of the girls in our family to start menstruating, but in some ways she will be the most prepared. She’ll have 3 women ahead of her to ask questions of. My girls all have what I didn’t have: someone to talk to. Such a simple thing, really. To sit down and have a conversation with your 7 year old is easy. To try and have the same conversation with your 10 year old when she comes to you thinking she is dying because she is bleeding is not something I would wish on any parent.

By Sarah C.

If you would like to learn more about preparing your daughter for menstruation, especially during the challenging summer months please consider participating in the big June 8 event on Twitter hosted by two names every mom of a tween or teen daughter should know: You ARE Loved and Be Prepared Period.  This one hour event, “Summer Periods – Camp, Vacations, Swimming & More – What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know,” is open to everyone.  You can learn more here or here.  Also, be sure to sign up for a chance to win one of the great giveaways! Transcript available.